When you are bereaved and grieving, making arrangements for a funeral can feel overwhelming. There is a great deal to organise, often in a short amount of time.
Having the necessary information to hand and understanding the options can help you to feel more in control. whiteballoon is a free, online resource that provides this information in clear, easy-to-read sections.
It is a place to discover ideas and inspiration for how create a funeral or celebration of life that truly reflects your loved one’s unique and precious life.
The most important thing to remember when planning a service is to do what feels right for you, your family, and for the person you are coming together to mourn, honour and celebrate.
Here we have highlighted some of the key things to consider and choices to be made. Each has a link through to the relevant section on whiteballoon, where you will find further information and guidance.
What to do when someone dies
Amongst other legal and administrative tasks, you will need to register the death and obtain a Certificate for Burial or Cremation (‘Green Form’) from the Registrar before a burial or cremation can take place.
Appointing a funeral director
A funeral director can provide invaluable help and guidance, alongside your faith leader or celebrant, if you choose to have one. Some people want their funeral director to undertake most of the arrangements, others choose to organise some or all elements of the funeral themselves.
Funeral options
There are a few things to think about before you start planning. For example, did the person who died leave details of their funeral wishes? In as far as it is practicable and possible to do so, most people will want to honour at least some of the wishes of a loved one.
Will it be a religious or non-religious service? This may inform the content of the service and where it is held.
Burial and Cremation
A burial can take place in a churchyard, a cemetery, at a natural burial ground, or even at home or at sea.
A cremation can take place after a funeral service held in another location, such as at a place or worship, or the service can be held at the crematorium. The facilities and services that crematoria offer varies from place to place, so check that your chosen location can meet your needs.
Direct Cremation and Burial is where the person is buried or cremated very simply and without any family or friends present. A memorial or celebration of life can then be held elsewhere at a time or date of your choosing.
Things to consider for the funeral service
How people wish to say goodbye is very personal to them. A funeral for someone who has lived a full life or to a great age may be very different to a funeral for a young person, baby or child. Consider what the ‘feel’ of the service will be.
Start to think about a possible date and time. You will need to check availability for venues and, if you are appointing one, your funeral director and/or celebrant. Once everything is confirmed, inform family and friends.
Here are some of the other key decisions to take:
- Who will conduct the service? A faith leader, celebrant, family member or friend?
- Will it be an ‘open’ service or a small, private occasion?
- Will there be poems, readings and prayers?
- What type of hymns and music, singers and musicians?
- Who will write and deliver the eulogy?
- Do you need a printed Order of Service?
- Choose a coffin, casket, shroud or urn.
- Would you like a floral tribute for the coffin and flowers for decoration?
- Will there be a viewing and deciding what the deceased will wear?
- Do you require pallbearers to carry the coffin?
- Will you need a hearse and transport for the family?
- Would you like any personal touches – for example, keepsakes for mourners?
There are so many ways to make a service truly unique and personal. It may be the way people dress, the choice of music and words, or perhaps the choice of coffin or transport.
Live streaming the service
Providing a live stream that can be broadcast to family and friends in the UK or around the world means that those who are unable to attend in person (due perhaps to age, health or distance) are still able to participate in the service, pay their respects, and say goodbye.
Often for those grieving, the funeral will pass in a blur. Being able to watch a recording of the service later, as a reminder of who was there and the words of love and loss that were spoken, can provide great comfort.
The funeral reception or wake
A gathering after a funeral or memorial service is an opportunity for friends and family to come together, share stories and memories, and to support one another. Some people choose to hold this after the funeral, others may hold a memorial service or celebration of life at a later date.
The location for the funeral reception can take place anywhere – at home, in a village hall, hotel or at a local café or pub. Or it might be held at the crematorium or place of burial.
Here are some of the other things to think about:
- Do you have a budget for the gathering?
- Roughly how many people will be attending?
- Will you serve refreshments and food and who will prepare it?
- Do you need tables, chairs, crockery, cutlery, glasses, etc?
- Would you like some personal touches, for example photos, a memory book or keepsakes for mourners?
- Will there be music and will anyone make a speech?
- Would you like flowers or other decorations?
- Where will people park and do you need signage?
How much does a funeral cost?
The cost of a funeral can vary enormously. According to the Sun Life Cost of Dying 2023 report, the average cost of a basic funeral in 2022 was £3,953. The average amount spent on a send-off (including extras like flowers, a venue for the reception, and catering) was £2,669.
Finding this sort or money can be very stressful at what is already a very distressing time. The person who has died may have already made financial provisions through a pre-paid funeral plan, funeral insurance or savings set aside for the funeral. There are also government grants and charities that can help with costs.
It is important to remember that the amount you spend on the funeral is not a reflection of the amount you love that person or of how much they mean to you.
There are lots of ways to help keep costs down, so try to set a budget beforehand and look for ways to keep within it. The whiteballoon Budget Planner can help with this.
How can whiteballoon help?
whiteballoon has extensive information on planning a funeral, memorial service or celebration of life as well as helpful Planning Tools to help you to gather, save and share information.
Our free Planning a Funeral checklist can be printed out to help keep track of tasks.
You can find ideas on our Inspiration Pages and any items that you like, (for example, poems, readings, prayers, flowers, coffins, personal touches), can be ‘hearted’ and saved to a personalised Ideas Folder. This can be printed out and shared with family, friends, your celebrant or funeral director. Details of businesses and services in our Provider directory can also be hearted and saved to this folder.
We hope this helps. If you have any questions, please do call a member of our whiteballoon team on 0203 904 4848 or email enquiries@whiteballoon.co.uk.
